Being a Spectator

Last week I surprised my husband with a date to see The 5 Browns in concert.  They were amazing.  Good entertainers and fabulous pianists.  Concerts like this are always so bittersweet for me - I love to go, I love to hear, but it's a little painful to think about how mediocre my playing has become.  I feel like I'm good enough to know that I'm not really that good after all.  That kind of hurts.  And it makes me squirm just a bit to think that I've chosen the path of the spectator.

In a way, my spectator-ness comes from how I define my role of wife/mom - we are building our family on traditional roles; Joseph's career provides the income and my career is my family.  It means we move where Joseph's job is, it means I spend the majority of my time taking care of other people's messes and problems and needs.  A lot of the work I do is invisible (the clothes magically get folded!  the dinner is magically placed on the table!)  And a lot of the work is instantly undone (the clothes are dirty on the floor again!  the children want THREE meals a day, AND snacks inbetween!)   

I don't think it's a coincidence that I came upon this quote from President Hinckley again last week.  It's pretty applicable here -- I think my real problem is not that my bachelor's degree in music is being 'wasted' or that the burden/blessing of being mom is that I am the invisible center of my child's universe.  I think my real problem is that I need to quit whining and be grateful. :)

"Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he's been robbed.  The fact is that most putts don't drop, most beef is tough, most children grow up to be just people, most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration, most jobs are more often dull than otherwise.  Life is like an old time rail journey... delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders, and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas, and thrilling bursts of speed.

The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride."

Thank God the spectator can still enjoy the view!

Finding Joy

“This is our one and only chance at life—here and now. The longer we live, the greater is our realization that it is brief. Opportunities come, and then they are gone. I believe that among the greatest lessons we are to learn in this short sojourn upon the earth are lessons that help us distinguish between what is important and what is not. I plead with you not to let those most important things pass you by as you plan for that illusive and nonexistent future when you will have time to do all that you want to do. Instead, find joy in the journey—now.” - Thomas S. Monson

Words of a Prophet

I am so excited for tomorrow night's Relief Society broadcast! I just realized it will be Pres. Monson's first time to address the women of the Church as our new prophet. Wow, isn't it wonderful to live on the earth at a time when we have the Lord's prophet among us?

Here are some words from our beloved Pres. Hinckley, given at the Relief Society meeting in 2003. They really mean a lot to me, and I want to share them to whet our appetites for tomorrow! :)

He addressed women in many different life situations--single moms, older moms, women without children. Here is what he said to mothers with young families. . . .

To you young women with small children, yours is a tremendous challenge. So often there is not enough money. You must scrimp and save. You must be wise and careful in your expenditures. You must be strong and bold and brave and march forward with gladness in your eye and love in your heart. How blessed you are, my dear young mothers. You have children who will be yours forever. I hope that you have been sealed in the house of the Lord and that your family will be an everlasting family in the kingdom of our Father.

May you be given strength to carry your heavy load, to meet every obligation, to walk side by side with a good and faithful and caring man, and together with him rear and nurture and bring up your children in righteousness and truth. Nothing else you will ever own, no worldly thing you will ever acquire will be worth so much as the love of your children. God bless you, my dear, dear young mothers.

"See you" tomorrow night!

Kindness Begins with Me

Sometimes the most complicated problems have the simplest solutions...

I've been thinking lately about trials -- my own, and the trials of a few friends. No matter how perfect we try to be (or how perfect others seem to be), we all suffer at some point.

A friend once told me about the caretaker of an apple orchard. Occasionally the trees would branch out in new limb and leaf, leaving little energy for the actual growing of fruit. The care taker would take a baseball bat and beat the trunk of the tree. The beating would send the tree into shock and help it to 'reprioritize.' :) I'm pretty sure my trials are the baseball bat to my trunk. Sometimes I need a good whack (symbolically - I don't advocate corporal punishment!) to get my priorities in line. :)

About a year ago, my husband and I sought the council of our bishop after a particularly painful fight. I wasn't too pleased with his advice (yes, I'm hardheaded) -- He told us to be kind. Kind?! My kindergarten teacher told me to be kind. I had a complicated problem here -- my marriage felt like it was falling apart. I needed a complicated, life-altering solution!

I guess I'm a bit of a Naaman (the Old Testament Syrian who was told by the prophet Elisha to wash 7 times in the River Jordan to be healed of leprosy.). Naaman basically said, "Look, I've bathed before - in rivers that were heaps better than the Jordan. Yeah, right!" And for a few months, I thought, "I've been kind before. Kindness doesn't fix the problem!" But the good news is that Naaman did, eventually, go bathe in the Jordan and was healed. My bishop was right -- I took a few more whacks of the 'baseball bat' before I really believed him, but I have great hope that this doctrine will seep deep into my bones, because I know now that it's true.

Kindness - the essence of true charity - can fix a broken heart. As in all things, the Savior is our ultimate example - turning the other cheek, giving the cloak and the coat, walking two miles instead of just one. These responses are so unnatural - but that's the point. We aren't trying to be natural. We're trying to be better than that -- we're trying to be like God.

So whatever your trial is (if you aren't in one right now, rest assured you will be at some point!), may I recommend that you look for the simple solution? It's simply to live the gospel - the best that you can. My best is pretty pathetic at times - but Heavenly Father knew it would be, so He gave us our Savior to pick up the slack. I am so grateful for His love - it teaches me how to love - in a way that never fails.

"Perhaps the greatest charity comes when we are kind to each other, when we don’t judge or categorize someone else, when we simply give each other the benefit of the doubt or remain quiet. Charity is accepting someone’s differences, weaknesses, and shortcomings; having patience with someone who has let us down; or resisting the impulse to become offended when someone doesn’t handle something the way we might have hoped. Charity is refusing to take advantage of another’s weakness and being willing to forgive someone who has hurt us. Charity is expecting the best of each other."
Marvin J. Ashton, “The Tongue Can Be a Sharp Sword,” Ensign, May 1992, 18

Pray for Abilities

Being new to my Young Women calling I have found myself overwhelmed with all I have to do in addition to my other things I have going on. I came across this quote and felt like it was just for me. Maybe, it will apply to you to.

"Do not pray for tasks equal to your abilities, pray instead for abilities equal to your tasks."
Thomas Monson